Returning To Love
Ok so here goes! I have had major writers block for a number of months. Really since about early October of 2011! At first I found myself resisting it. Telling myself, “you are so done all this excavating business! Time to move on Pramilda!” Life had other plans and the harder I tried to write the more stuck and dry my throat got and words that had moments ago been the beads connecting my brilliant ideas while driving in the car or in the shower would stop mid sentence.
Read MoreWhen I Grow Up Part VI – Telling The Truth!
Writing the truth is much harder than I ever thought it would be! It is much easier to face truth within the four walls of your therapist’s office or over coffee with your best friend. Truth and I have even gone so far as to tolerate and lately enjoy each other’s company in moments of silence with ourselves. Yet, writing the truth for the world to see and hear…this has been more than just slightly terrifying!
Read MoreWhen I Grow Up Part V – Embracing Process!
Yes, Yes, I know! I have been a bit remiss on posting this entire week! It’s not that I didn’t want to write but rather that I couldn’t. Didn’t have the energy to! Some of you might remember that I started this 30 day yoga challenge a couple of weeks ago and for the first time in my life, I have found something that is physically stretching me beyond my comfort zone and I am finding myself sticking to it! It has not been an easy week!
Read MoreWhen I Grow Up Part III: Dancing with Awareness & Acceptance!
We were never really taught attention in school were we?
Our parents and teachers likely “talked to” paying attention! They might have even screamed it into your ears if you were the really, really brilliantly creative kind of kid. The kind that takes a little bit longer than most to tune out their internal rhythm!
We can live through our delusions for quite a long time. We can forget our music, or that we ever danced or sang to begin with!
Read MoreWhen I Grow Up Part II: Forgetting How To Play!
In those days I ran around shoeless a lot! It was one of the few freedoms I knew!
I was a child…and children just needed to do what they’re told!
I grew up being plagued by these tenets! They haunted me during recess at school, on silent car rides home and times in between while I was busy forgetting how to play!
Read MoreWhen I Grow Up: Part 1
No one told me I could be a writer!
Or an artist, a creativity expert; a specialist in playing or an observer of internals worlds! In fact, no one told me that I could be anything I wanted to be in my own life. I don’t think we still explicitly tell our children that they own their life – do we?
Read MoreLetting go of “GOD” the word!
I want to share how this poem came to me with the intent of honoring the flow of creativity. I recognize it when its there and when it’s not…yet trying to invoke it or find it…I have yet to decipher that complicated formula. So this poem, came to me in the early hours of the morning …I had just finished writing another piece and knew that I needed to get to sleep! Two energetic kids would be jumping on my bed in a matter of hour or two and just as I was putting my head on my pillow, I felt the urge to write these words…“Even the word “God” seems irreverent somehow.” I stayed in bed for a few moments and then more words and an urgency to write it down before I lost it forever!
I wish someone had taught me to honor creativity when I was a little girl…before I learnt to fade out the yearning and the longing to create! I am grateful to have a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th and many more chances to discover it again. It’s reminds me of Rumi’s invitation in his poem, “Come, come whoever you are…” You can read more of it here. I believe that we all have this invitation without an expiry date to keep coming back to our love no matter how many times we have given up… on our dreams, our lives and our selves.
I write all this down to share and also to help me remember when I look back. In terms of the poem itself…it took on a life of its own once I started listening…it’s roots though lead back to a conversation with a dear friend and teacher who continues to help me in my work to see clearly! Thank you!
That which I called God
Is neither male or female
Black, white, brown or pigeon
Labels mean nothing to me
Even the word “God”
Seems irreverent somehow
When It is the reason that one life form can kill another
When some dominate
And forget the earth our mother
How can a word that points to something and everything
Also leave trails of blood and terror
Throughout centuries past and present
How could such a word mean love
When it also vibrates and resonates in the truth of the opposite?
I say,
Let’s scrap the word
Lets’ let go of “God” the word
It, he, she doesn’t care
Call it the sky, an ant, a pigeon
Anything but that word
Find instead, goodness everywhere!
And call it anything you want!
Transition Blues: Learning to Swim in Half Cooked Soup!
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. –Anais Nin-
Back to writing! I have been struggling with over exposure lately! Every topic I want to write about seems to be tinted with something more personal than I feel the courage to share at the moment. It feels like I have been floating in half cooked soup lately.
Read MoreAn Ex-Corporate Junkie Comes Clean!
A seeker, a searcher, a sojourner on a path into the vastly undiscovered, unknown territory that makes up me, myself and I. Somewhat of an understated yet sometimes aggressive smartass who had to get lost to discover that she was searching. An ex-corporate junkie who for a long time was clueless and blinded by the "bling" of everyday distractions to notice all the hooks, the hookers or the hooked, never mind the artificial highs and depressing lows. Am I clean now? Read more About Me and keep coming back ...I’ll come clean!
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