When I Grow Up Part VI – Telling The Truth!

Writing the truth is much harder than I ever thought it would be!  It is much easier to face truth within the four walls of your therapist’s office or over coffee with your best friend.  Truth and I have even gone so far as to tolerate and lately enjoy each other’s company in moments of silence with ourselves.  Yet, writing the truth for the world to see and hear…this has been more than just slightly terrifying! 

I only ever set out to write my own truth on this journey of blogging!  I was and still am not under any illusion that my truth is “the universal truth” especially as it relates to my family or anyone else who may choose to read what I write out of their own free will. Let’s just put this out there for the record!

I realize that I don’t know everything. I never will!  What I do know is that I embarked on this journey to get to know myself and once I started, I realized and am constantly realizing how much I don’t still know.  My purpose on this journey is to get to know myself and to explore with some curiosity and non-judgement, all the dark places where I have been hiding all these years.  It is not to force into the light others who have crossed my path whether they are kin or kith!

So let me just elaborate a bit on this post by saying if you choose to visit this site, follow my posts please know that this is my own journey and my own slant on life as I have experienced it.  My lenses have been shaped and altered and re-shape and are continuing in their reach to see clearly.

The folks that visit this site may do it for their own reasons…out of their own curiosity or perhaps something they saw here struck a chord, a knowing with them or whatever else the reason might be…in fact there may be no reason at all!  I welcome and appreciate the company on this journey.

The sharing is liberating while being terrifying! It is my way of showing to the world that the faces that we put out to the world, the parts of us that we choose to share, only tell part of the story of who we are inside.  We are all to some degree carrying our own pains, our own crosses from the very disorderly, non-linear lives that we lead and it is my hope that in sharing so openly even the rawest of emotions…that we can bring forth some awareness to this…the perfection of who we are with all our perceived imperfections!  We are whole even as we may seem or feel broken into a million different pieces.  There is no need for us to hide or ignore parts of our wholeness with the false facade of perfection.  Perfection does not exist!  We exist!  The world has taught us to disown and disregard what it sees as flaws for far too long.  Many of us are going through life juggling way too many beach balls and are valiantly trying to hold them all under the water.

We have been groomed to hide what isn’t pretty or normal or acceptable to someone else’s standards. Beach balls can only be held down forcefully underwater for so long. Eventually the balls outnumber our ability to hold them down or maybe we just get tired and let one go just to have it bounce back up and smack us right in the face.

I have found it freeing to just let go of all the balls! Let them come to the surface and float freely. It has allowed me to see exactly what I have been holding out of sight for so long!

You will hear more truth telling on these pages if you come along for the ride.  But please know there is no judgment here and no expectations for you or anyone to do the same…yes there is  an intended message in between the lines here…..enough said for now!

Here’s more Rumi wisdom….more for me than anyone else…I do believe whole heartedly that we teach what we need to learn!

“My dear heart never think you are better than others.
Listen to their sorrows with compassion.
If you want peace, don’t harbour bad thoughts
do not gossip and don’t teach what you do not know. “

Pramilda

To be Continued in When I Grow Up Part VII