My Take On Mindfulness

Victor E. Frankl said it briefly. “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response”.  This is the power of practising Mindfulness.  It’s a practice that allows one to harness the potency of the present moment and the growth that sprouts in cultivating that space. My take on this practice uses a few more words!

Mindfulness is about this moment. The same one where one might feel elated or elevated, envious or so-so, or even forget to notice, that it passes. Mindfulness is about learning to be in this space and not getting carried away by the beckon of yesterday’s memories and the lure of tomorrow’s fantasies. It is about learning to see the “now” clearly, stripped off all its illusions, without the pre-conceived labels and judgments that become part of our DNA during this human experience.  Doing all this, being in the here and now, without judgment, seeing and experiencing clearly all that each moment has to offer with an attitude of curiosity and kindness,  is a bit like trying to come off drugs when you are really, really hooked!  Life offers a lot of cushioning, padding and handy distractions for one to numb oneself.  Insulation from reality is available in many forms. Don’t like what you’re feeling, turn up the music on the radio or check your iPhone for the millionth time. Feeling kind of crappy, maybe the television has something good on.  There’s this unexplainable emptiness that just won’t go away in the pit of your stomach; maybe open the fridge and fill it instead with something to eat.  And, if you’re feeling really sad and downtrodden, shopping, cleaning and all the other “do-ings” provide great temporary shelters.  Denial, blame, acting out in anger also fit the bill when it’s easier to deflect the blame outwards than turn inwards. Whatever our pain, there are variety of sedatives that promise a lift out of our discontent, like the kind of high that  might come from drinking a Red Bull.  Good while it lasts, but sadly very temporary.

Mindfulness teachings would say, you feel crappy – great! You noticed! Pat yourself on the back and welcome the crappy feeling. Let it stay as long as it wants to. Rumi captures this sentiment best in his poem The Guesthouse (see my Inspiration page).  If you feel angry, notice the anger, and notice that you are angry.  Notice your awareness behind the anger. The anger or whatever the feeling, is just a feeling – be it rage, sadness, guilt, frustration, jealousy, resentment.  All are just visitors, invited or otherwise; just passing through you.  Sometimes staying for a brief visit, other times overstaying just a bit too long.

This philosophy makes sense. It gets clearer the more I practice.  But, this is after a few years of learning, struggling, falling, getting up, trying again and most importantly playing. Yes! Playing with these teachings, experimenting, seeing how certain things made me feel; observing myself in action, and at the briefest of moments getting those precious flashes of insights and clarity, finally made me a convert.  Now, I am a believer in fully embracing all that is here right now, independent of circumstances. In the past I might have labelled and judged the very thing as being, good, bad or somewhere in between.   It is like learning to see the world with new eyes. A re-programming of the neural pathways happens with practice.

Bringing some curiosity to a situation or experience and not immediately forming an opinion either way, being skilful in the responses to others and kinder to myself; this is tough. When I goof up, say something less than graceful or lose my temper, my inner critic is ready with a machete and a handgun, waiting to take me down.   I now approach her with some friendly curiosity, offer her some kindness instead and perhaps a big cheesy inner hug. For a long time she stared right back at me in shock and disgust! She didn’t know quite what to make of this change.  It was like she needed to keep her eyes on me just in case I got her around the next corner.

Kindness can melt the toughest of exteriors and interiors! I know. Mine’s starting to…