Living Dread

 

This morning I awoke,

To a thousand voices wailing songs of despair
Filled with dread and doom
I am gasping for air
Familiar this feeling I have felt
All these years my company they have kept

Life  equals darkness
I am alone and scared
The void has sucked me in
I am the living dead
Not noticed that I have been missing

Body here and soul lost
Walking in lands where joy does not dance
Where sweet birds do not sing
And the sun’s brightest rays cannot be seen

Eyes so blind
Choosing darkness over seeing pain
Beauty and happiness cannot enter in
Doors closed tight long ago

To find the way back
I don’t know that I am lost
Until the lost knows it’s lost
Lost cannot be found

A thousand voices wail and cry
Wait
The winds are changing
Barely a whisper
A promise of love
Only I can give myself
Not before but now willing

I stop. I listen. I cry
Feeling treacherous pain
It hurts, It hurts
To be here

Emptiness dries my tears
Dread and despair blanket me with warmth
I rest in their embrace
Sleeping for the first time

Renewed
I surface
Still scared but with sparking glimmers of hope
Now within my reach
To see the beauty that has always been
Here
Now
My eyes willing to see